Music is all I have right now. And that's ok with me.

Marvin Sapp | The Best In Me

Fantasia Total Praise Video

Broadened Horizons

This has been the most action packed horn week ever. I don't know where to start so I will have to do a day by day:

Thursday

1. The horn studio had a master class with Cheryl Neberhaus. I played an etude that I was having difficulty with and she told me some great things. Mainly that I needed to rethink the sound that I desire to play. She move my hand position and it made things easier and opened my sound, but it wasn't a functioning hand but it sounds great.
2. Next, I got to sit in on the 4 hornist's first rehearsal of the Schumann Concert Piece. I made a recording and I was just blown away with how musically and how far each player was able to push and what is even better is that everyone is such a beast.

Friday

1. Rehearsal
2. Lesson with Dr. Abagail Pack- There was a life lesson in this lesson...at the end of the day, one must just deliver. Its not about how tired you are, its not about how much you don't know...its about putting everything you have into the performance. Needless to say, I didn't do as well in the lesson as I thought I would...but its neither here or there now.
   
3. Brass sectional- So the DAY before the concert the brass section of the orchestra had our 1st rehearsal. What I learned....appoint someone to be the mediator...to be in charge but to direct the ideas of the musicians into one succinct thought so there aren't a room full of people talking and getting nothing done.
   
4. Panel discussion=LIFE CHANGING. Lesson learned: Roll with the punches, and NEVER make excuses. Progress.
   

Saturday

1. Rehearsal 10-12:30
2. McAlisters- great bacon spud
   
3. Lesson with Laura Carter- LC is everything I want Dr. B to be in the sense that when she presented a problem, the also gave a solution, and it wasn't one of those "figure it out" situations. I have it recorded and I am so excited about that.
   
4. my mouth is itching..good thing (a week later- as I am updating this, my lips are itching again which means that blood is flowing! I am gonna be such a great horn player)
   
5. Concert- BEST OF MY LIFE. And the reviewers thought so as well
   

   http://www.cvnc.org/reviews/2010/092010/ECUSymphony.html

Sunday

1. Goldsboro Concert 8am at school of music- Great acoustics. There was a moment when we were playing in the second movement of the Tchaikovsky that I thought, "this is what I am supposed to be doing with my life". It was almost an out of body experience, but it was so great. Music is my life, and I am ok with that.
   

Leontyne Price sings "My Man's Gone Now"

ok I lied. this is too good not to post. Nothing better than a black virtuoso

Jessye Norman, Deep River, Levine,Carnegie Hall 1990

ok my last one for the night

Jessye Norman on 60 Minutes 2/2

Jessye Norman on 60 Minutes 1/2

Gustav Mahler / National Polish Radio Symphony - "Symphony 5 in C-sharp ...

The top two killers of dreams: complaining and excuses!

I Can Only Be Me

So this week flew by for me so much so that it seems like a blur, but I feel like i've learned so much about myself in just a few days. I think this has to do with the fact that most of my classes make me think about music and about my purpose as a musician and such. It sucks that it took this long for someone to finally ask me, "why did YOU choose to be a musician. And what do you want to do with your life?" Its really strange actually...professors are actually listening to the words that are coming from my mouth; like really listening. Its not that typical nod that they give coupled with them moving on really fast to a new subject. It's them listening and asking more and more questions as I go. SO what did I learn this week you ask?

1.) You get what you give

I practiced this well for probably 2 or so hours a day and then another 2+ hours of rehearsals everyday this week, but it was apparent by my lesson that I wasn't giving everything I could. So what I Got in my lesson was a mediocre etude that could have been better and an unpolished piece. I mean, it was passable but definitely needed work. Then something weird happened...I got ashamed of what I played. I realized I could do so much better and give so much more. I was shortchanging myself....wasting my tuition money away. It was clear; To become a better I need to make sure what I am holding up my end of the bargain.

2.) Get down or get OUT!

No one likes a player who is just a place filler. I am the type of person who feels like I am wasting my and everyone else's time if I am playing so soft that it is inaudible. I found myself telling people over and over to play louder, GO for it. That is what we came to school for....to take our playing somewhere it has never been before, right? So, how can we take our playing to the next level if we are afraid to go there. We never know until we try, and trying gives us the chance to be successful and success breeds more success.

I read a quote this week that said, "The moment we start being afraid to make mistakes is the moment we stop growing as a musician." Think about it

3.) I can only be me

Lastly, this week has taught me that I can only be me. I read an article that talked about how there is beauty in having a personality to your horn sound. Copy cats lose themselves, and a listener would much rather listen to someone who plays musically, makes mistakes, and has a personality than someone who plays "perfectly" with no emotions. Then the article talked about tone color and such in relation to the same topic.

I sat after I read the article...and now that Im thinking about I believe it was a section of the book, "The Art of Trumpet Playing", and I pondered, and I listen to different people in my studio at ECU, and then it hit me. I can only be me. I can't play with your tone color, I can't play with your control, I can't play with your anything...because God made us different. Physically we are not the same, so why in my mind was I thinking that what we produce from the horn is going to be exactly the same.

I need to embrace my sound. I need to love my sound. I need to love my perfections and imperfections, because in essence it means that I am loving me. I am loving myself for the good and the bad, and fixing the things I can along the way. Because when it is all said and done, and I walk across that stage to continue my journey where ever life may take me, I have to realize that I can only be me.

Japanese Precision

you cant tell me I can't make it, if these people can do this.

Aretha Franklin - Just a Lucky (So and So) - Live - 1973

Joseph Meidt XRAY-Movies of Trumpet and Horn player

Kirk Franklin Now Behold The Lamb

You're not a music major...you'll never understand

I'm in a good place right now...

I should be practicing more considering I have a recital coming up in November. Recently, I have been in a position where everyone is asking me to add more to my load and for the first time in a long time I have been saying quite simply, "no". It's like the older I get, the more I realize how significant, or insignificant things can be, and now I have the clear sight to decide against the things that I don't want to do. It's quite an interesting feeling for me and I wonder how other people feel when I tell them that I can't figure out their problems for them, and that they'll have to handle it themselves.

Anyway, so when I tell people I can't do whatever it is they need me to do, some explanation is required of course..because 'no' is not good enough of an answer. And what is that answer you say?

"Im a music major, and that's all you need to know"

Currently in my last semester on campus at ECU. I have a lot on my plate but Im sure I will be able to manage. My first lesson went well and I have managed to turn in all but 1 assignment, so I am still in the A range for all of my classes.

My recital is gonna be:

Espana- Buyanovsky

Sonata for Horn- Ewazen

Concerto no. 1- Strauss

Brahms Horn Trio

Of course I not gonna play all of the movements for everything but I am just trying to jump through the hoops and get prepared for my audition lit. I am looking to teach in New Jersey so I need to make sure I have all of my ducks in a row for that.

Besides that, my life is practice, practice, practice.......homework.....other responsibilities...and then practice some more. I swear sometimes my name is superman....