Revelations

If you know me, you know I aspire to be a college professor of Horn and play in a major symphony. I have had many set backs in my educational career whether it be from me joining the military or grades. What I have come to realize however, is that people will not do well until they truly and honestly decide they will do well. I say this because some people start college focused and mentally proficient to handle the responsibility of college; they make the dean's list, etc. On the contrary, there are others who do mediocre and make it by, and those who just fail completely in the endeavor. I started college as the second of the three knowing good and well that my intellectual prowess surpassed that of the grades I earned every semester. I pledged, joined the army, worked fulltime for a year, and realized I needed to get back in school. I did so, promising myself I would make straight a's and not procrastinate, but to my demise I fell back into the habitual procrastination and blatant disregard for the educational system.

Something happened this past year, and I don't know what it was, but I suddenly became focused and took accountability for my education and made straight A's. I cannot describe the feeling of achieving great grades knowing that I deserved them. I tell people all of the time that I a product of divine intervention, and I honestly believe it. I was in church when I was a little younger and my Pastor said something on the lines of 'people who don't give glory to God and praise his name just haven't gone through enough yet, because when you go through enough and realize that God has been by your side the whole time and never let you go, you soul won't let you sit down when someone says his name'. Boy, this is so true, because I have been to the bottom and back up and God has kept his loving hand ALL over my life and have resurfaced beat down but not beat up, tarnished by still shining bright, and I give all of the thanks to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

With that said, I have always wanted to go to Juilliard and have completed the application numerous times but never had the nerve to set up an audition. I honestly believed that I wasn't good enough for the school in every aspect of the word. I was at dinner with my parents and they were asking me whats next with school and I told them I wanted to go to Juilliard and my dad told me about his sister. I knew my aunt through my youth but she was killed in a hit and run. She was a glorious singer and even did so for Marvin Gaye. Well, in the conversation he remembered that she went to Juilliard. Imagine my mouth dropping and hitting the floor hearing this knowing that all of this time I had been so scared to audition, but someone in my immediate family has already 'been there' and 'done that'.

I think that God waited 22 years to let me know this information because he knew I wasn't ready to hear it. He knew that I needed to make my mistakes and become a man before I was able to grasp this information and use it to push me towards my dreams. So, everyone, I encourage you to grasp you dreams and achieve them. Not "try" to achieve them because a try is a failed attempt. I know where I need to be, and I will trust in god to show me how to get there.

Off to live,

Deron